…a wave tossed in the ocean…

I actually got some sleep last night…which is a very good thing…I have been operating on a slim margin of sleep for awhile…when I was in middle school and high school…I had insomnia…a lot.  Sleeping aids didn’t work because I couldn’t shut my brain down…my mind was on overload every night…cycling again and again all of the stuff going on in my life and trying to figure out a way to solve things that I couldn’t solve…the doctors gave me some mental exercises to try to help…sometimes it worked sometimes I was still awake at 3am trying in vain to figure out a way to make my world alright.  It is no coincidence that this originally started around the time that my mom started to really lose it…I wanted to ‘fix’ her and I couldn’t…

Recently…it has reared it’s ugly tired head again…last night I took some Tylenol pm and I got some sleep but I am still on the tired side…I have to find a way to shut my brain down…

Reasons I can’t sleep:

  • I have recently upset one of my best friends to the point where I am not sure she will forgive me…
  • Wedding stuff
  • More wedding stuff
  • my dog, can’t fix her either…
  • Jason has been gone for 72 days out of the last 117…so since October I have had him 45 days
  • I have had RSVP’s for 134 people now…we were expecting about 95 to 100…and there are still some outstanding…

I tell you what, planning a wedding is not for sissies…

Everyday…I mark a couple of things off my list…If I could get the list under control I think I might be okay…or at least better…ish…

Happy Tuesday all…

Justjil…

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3 thoughts on “…a wave tossed in the ocean…

  1. Laurie says:

    Hey honey! We’re in the same boat of sleeplessness for different reasons. You don’t have much longer to go, and you’ll be in wedded bliss. All of this will be a distant memory!

    xoxo

  2. Brett says:

    I’m glad you could get some sleep. You’ve certainly got a LOT on your plate, but you’ll get there. And then you’ll get to Mexico!

  3. Kim says:

    I’m always so late. I hope things are going better. Try to take a deep breath and exercise off some stress as that may help you rest better too. Or exercise and give blood on the same day…that will kick your ass into a good night’s sleep! Chill girl. You can’t control how anyone else feels, so don’t dwell there. If you were wrong, all you can do is apologize. If you weren’t wrong, you can only let your friend feel what she feels (you told me something very similar once). You can only do what you can do.

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