Making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got…

Life among other things goes on.  Nothing astounding to report.  Just happy.  Just healthy (I hope…lol).  I have my 6 month check-up with my surgeon next Friday the 31st.  I am both excited and a little bit askeered!  For those of you doing the math that is well over my 6 month date because I kept running into snags where getting my labs done was concerned.  So I will actually be a month and a half past 6 months but oh well…I am anxious.  I want to know that my body is responding well.  I want to know that my insides are establishing some sort of equalibrium.    I want to be fine, just fine.

On the weightloss front I am still good, really good.  Far better than I ever dreamed.  I still have more to lose.  I still struggle with the idea that whereas I am so much smaller my body is…let’s just call it like it is…creepy.  It’s like my body is a hallowe’en costume…lol…just a creepy one at least and not flat out horrifying!  I am getting past it.  It is funny how we see ourselves so very differently than others see us.  Our vision of our bodies is so very skewed.  It helps to have someone who loves you, who can see past the sags and just sees you for who you are and who you are becoming.  I am happy with what I see when I am in my favorite jeans because it draws everything in and tightens it and makes the package all shiny and happy and lovely.  the way I look sans jeans…not so much but like I said, I am working on it.

I don’t blog as I should, I don’t comment as I should but still I want all of you to know…What a comfort you all are to me…Sharing your struggles and your triumphs…Giving this surgery a face, giving it humanity.  I love you all…thank you for lifting me up.




3 thoughts on “Making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got…

  1. Kim H. says:

    I have no doubt that Dr. F will give you a glowing report when he sees you! You’re going to become the poster child for his practice – marketing model here you come! 🙂

    I can totally relate to the difference between the way things look in clothes versus naked. (I try NOT to be naked for that reason! *wink*) My weight loss has been a LOT slower – so it might be different from what you’re experiencing, but still sometimes I am completely grossed out when I see my bat wings or my saggy thighs – but then again – it’s a small price to pay for our health, right?

    I am so glad that you’ve got someone that loves you enough to help you put everything in perspective – somehow it’s just not the same coming from your girlfriends! At least for some things… others it’s the girlfriend’s perspective that is the most important. 🙂

  2. justjil says:

    Thanks Kim…I am just feeling the pressure I guess of being over half a year out…time seems so slow at the beginning and then suddenly your saying where did the time go…lol…I so need my girlfriends it’s true…but having Jason means so much as well…seeing myself through his eyes changes the way I look at myself as well…

  3. Kim says:

    You’ll do great, Jil! My six monther is tomorrow and my protein is still not where it should be as I already picked up my labs. Ugh!

    When will the moment arrive when we are not surprised to see ourselves in the mirror? I am constantly wondering who that girl is looking back at me.

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