Sooo…you know how when you are weighed in at the Doctors office; clearly you are fully clothed? Well I think it is fairly common to weigh yourself in the buff or very nearly in the buff when you are at home. This is how I have been weighing myself every morning, knowing full well that whereas it was my true weight certainly it is not the weight that will register at the hospital the morning of pre-op which is what really counts. I weigh myself in the buff because it will have the greater impact weight-wise on the scale and thus on my psyche as well and since there have been so many ups and downs on this little weightloss game I have been playing with myself per doctors orders; I have needed that impact. In saying that, I know that the weight that really counts is the one with clothes on. I have been too much of a chicken shit to do this up until this morning. Yesterday morning was a big morning for me, I finally broke my little plateau and dropped nearly 4 lbs. Wahoo…but still I know on the doctors scale I will gain 3 of those back. This morning I decided it was time to face reality, bolstered by confidence from yesterdays weigh in I donned my daily apparel of blue jeans, a long sleeved t-shirt and a lightweight cardigan, I stepped on the scale. Imagine my joy when the scale said I only weighed .8 lbs more than yesterday morning. This means: a) I had to have dropped another 2 to 3 lbs. yesterday (because the jeans alone weigh at least 2 lbs. b) yet again I rediscover how fear is truly debilitating (apparently their is no limit on how many times you can re-learn this lesson) and c) I can move forward from this point on unafraid of the “truth”.
On a side note, thank you to everyone who has shown such overwhelming support to me during this journey.
And the truth shall indeed set you free…Love to you all…Just Jil