…and the truth shall set you free…

Sooo…you know how when you are weighed in at the Doctors office; clearly you are fully clothed?  Well I think it is fairly common to weigh yourself in the buff or very nearly in the buff when you are at home.  This is how I have been weighing myself every morning, knowing full well that whereas it was my true weight certainly it is not the weight that will register at the hospital the morning of pre-op which is what really counts.  I weigh myself in the buff because it will have the greater impact weight-wise on the scale and thus on my psyche as well and since there have been so many ups and downs on this little weightloss game I have been playing with myself  per doctors orders; I have needed that impact.  In saying that, I know that the weight that really counts is the one with clothes on.  I have been too much of a chicken shit to do this up until this morning.  Yesterday morning was a big morning for me, I finally broke my little plateau and dropped nearly 4 lbs.  Wahoo…but still I know on the doctors scale I will gain 3 of those back.  This morning I decided it was time to face reality, bolstered by confidence from yesterdays weigh in I donned my daily apparel of blue jeans, a long sleeved t-shirt and a lightweight cardigan, I stepped on the scale.  Imagine my joy when the scale said I only weighed .8 lbs more than yesterday morning.  This means:  a) I had to have dropped another 2 to 3 lbs. yesterday (because the jeans alone weigh at least 2 lbs.  b) yet again I rediscover how fear is truly debilitating (apparently their is no limit on how many times you can re-learn this lesson) and  c) I can move forward from this point on unafraid of the “truth”.

On a side note, thank you to everyone who has shown such overwhelming support to me during this journey.

And the truth shall indeed set you free…Love to you all…Just Jil

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4 thoughts on “…and the truth shall set you free…

  1. gastricgirl says:

    I try to wear lighter clothing on days I go to the doctor… I’m obsessive.. And if I don’t like my weight at home, I’ll weigh myself again after I go to the restroom! haha Wow, I really need some good therapy.
    I’m so excited you broke through your plateau! It’s a great feeling! Mine was 224.0 this morning… we’ll see what it is when I get home.. and then before I got to bed.. hahah

    Love ya!
    GG

  2. lacy says:

    Jil

    I love the way you write! so lilting and lovely. You remind me of me!
    I try to think of EVERY possible trick to make myself lighter…Pee it out, Poo it out, and then think dainty thoughts! *laughs*

    I’m really really excited for you. It’s rough sometimes, but let me assure you of this one thing…

    “sorrow may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning”

  3. That’s funny – I agree with the other girls, I too try to trick the scale with lighter clothes and all that fun stuff. I never seem to weigh the same at the doctor’s either… but even more curious than that – I weighed the day after my surgery (while walking my laps around the 5th floor of the hospital) and I’d dropped like 10 pounds… in a DAY – I know it’s unlikely, but I really enjoyed the feeling.

    Your time is quickly approaching, and I know that you’re in GREAT hands – since they’re the hands that gave me my life back.

  4. Meghan says:

    I just ignore what the doctor’s scale says. It’s a few pounds different, and that’s fine with me, but I keep track of my own loss with my own scale and my own nakedness. : )

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