a little F.Y.I.
I did not have my gallbladder removed. On Pre-op day my surgeon decided that since I had not had any symptoms with it that we would hold off. Also, if somewhere down the road it did become active my insurance would cover that which is good for me.
So the pains I am having are mostly gas related, left over from the big fat pocket of air they blow into the operating area and whereas I am doing the obligatory belching and to be rather indelicate, passing gas, it is slow going and some of the air moved up into my ribcage area which can happen, so it feels like I have a couple of broken ribs and I have a hard time standing up straight. I stoop over like a little old man. Cute hunh? Lol…
…and the beat goes on, and the beat goes on…
The day dawned bright and early this morning for me…today is the first day that I am alone and the beginning of my tenure at home. My little brother Dave, who lives with me has gone off to work, my parents have returned to Arkansas, and the family, friends and revellers have returned to their respective homes. It is a little sad to me, don’t get me wrong, I can fend for myself, there is still quite a bit of pain but I am alright…it is more that I will miss having everyone around.
As for any progress, I am moving forward, I seem to be just fine with dairy products which I have been told can be rough for some people. I am working on getting all of my fluids in, when I left the hospital I was alittle dehydrated so I am trying to be very deliberate about getting in as much liquid as possible. I pretty much make a schedule from the moment that I get up, including: walking, meds, vitamins, fluids, eating and what I am going to eat per meal and of course the all mighty Spirometer…despite the fact that improvements each day are very subtle, I can definitley tell by the movement of the spirometer that things are improving.
Thanks to everyone again for the well wishes and the prayers, they continue to lift me up each day. I am grateful to each of you for making this journey so much easier…
Lovin’ ya for sure…just jil
…Break On Through To The Other Side…
I will keep this on the short side for now…The surgery went well. My surgeon said everything was perfect. Of course as can be expected I don’t feel perfect right now, I have heard the third day out is the worst and to be honest yesterday was bad…today I feel a little better. I am trying to keep busy without overdoing it. I have gotten some good walking in so far today…I am still sore especially on the left side but that’s a little better today too.
Anyway…I am in pretty good spirits and I appreciate all the prayers and good wishes sent my way…Thank you, thank you, thank you…
All my love…just jil
T – Minus 3 Days and Counting…
As the Bangles would say, “…it’s just another manic monday – whoa-o-o”. It was a good weekend, I didn’t get anything done that I was supposed to but I got spend some time with some people that mean the world to me and I don’t get to see them all that often. I would shirk my duties anytime to spend time with family and friends.
A little shout out to Rosanne and Laurie, “Lookin’ good Mama’s, Lookin’ Good”!
Well, it is a mere 3 days away until the big event and I am really pumped, I fully expect the days leading up to it to be the longest days of my life. If I could I would jump up on the table and do it now. Waiting is so hard…sigh..! I have no fears at this point, I suppose I could get some fear between now and Thursday (since everyone keeps telling me I should have some, so that I can then expel the fear and be at peace…WTF, can’t I just skip the fear and go straight to peace?) but I really don’t think so…LOL. I am already at complete peace with my decision…
I want to add a word for the friends and family that have to deal with me everyday…thank you. Thank you for making this process so much less scary than it could have been. Thank you for worrying about me and being scared for me but giving me your support anyway. Thanks for loving me through the years when I couldn’t love myself and above all, thank you for seeing me as: the sister, the daughter, the cousin, the friend and the aunt instead of the little fat girl that I saw in the mirror. Thank you for always believing that I had the talent, the generosity of spirit, the humor and the kindness to go further in life, than I thought I could. Thank you for your silent prayers and your immeasurable acts of love over the years. Please know that they did not go unnoticed or unappreciated even if I didn’t always show it.
I love you all so very much…Just Jil
…and the truth shall set you free…
Sooo…you know how when you are weighed in at the Doctors office; clearly you are fully clothed? Well I think it is fairly common to weigh yourself in the buff or very nearly in the buff when you are at home. This is how I have been weighing myself every morning, knowing full well that whereas it was my true weight certainly it is not the weight that will register at the hospital the morning of pre-op which is what really counts. I weigh myself in the buff because it will have the greater impact weight-wise on the scale and thus on my psyche as well and since there have been so many ups and downs on this little weightloss game I have been playing with myself per doctors orders; I have needed that impact. In saying that, I know that the weight that really counts is the one with clothes on. I have been too much of a chicken shit to do this up until this morning. Yesterday morning was a big morning for me, I finally broke my little plateau and dropped nearly 4 lbs. Wahoo…but still I know on the doctors scale I will gain 3 of those back. This morning I decided it was time to face reality, bolstered by confidence from yesterdays weigh in I donned my daily apparel of blue jeans, a long sleeved t-shirt and a lightweight cardigan, I stepped on the scale. Imagine my joy when the scale said I only weighed .8 lbs more than yesterday morning. This means: a) I had to have dropped another 2 to 3 lbs. yesterday (because the jeans alone weigh at least 2 lbs. b) yet again I rediscover how fear is truly debilitating (apparently their is no limit on how many times you can re-learn this lesson) and c) I can move forward from this point on unafraid of the “truth”.
On a side note, thank you to everyone who has shown such overwhelming support to me during this journey.
And the truth shall indeed set you free…Love to you all…Just Jil
Alas…Old Gallbladder I know You Well…
Did anyone have to have their gallbladder removed at the same time as their RNY? Did it affect your recovery time? I wasn’t really concerned about it, my Doctor told me it was pretty common to have them done at the same time, he said, “piece of cake, don’t worry about it.” So I didn’t…until now. Two people in the last 2 days have mentioned that each knew a person who had their gallbladders removed and each of them needed over a month to recover and go back to work. I am not foolish enough to think two people qualify as a typical result but I would like to be prepared for whatever lies ahead, so does anyone out there have any personal knowledge of recovery time? Just as a general FYI…
Lovin’ ya all…
Just Jil
Stressed out but trying to play it cool…
I didn’t mention it before but when the surgery date was set by my surgeon he told me that he wanted me to lose 20 to 25 lbs. before the surgery and put me on a primarily liquid diet. This is not uncommon among GB patients, it helps to shrink the liver making the surgery less dangerous by creating easier access to the stomach and the intestines.
When he first mentioned it to me I felt positive that I would be able to achieve those results. In fact I felt positive that I would be able to achieve the higher end of what he asked of me. Cocky? Yep! Although I struggled early on I managed to lose the first 11 lbs. in about two weeks, okay not too bad, that gave me three weeks to lose the other 12. Well the surgery is a little over a week away and I have only lost and gained the same two lbs. over and over again since then and I am STRESSED out! What if he decideds I can’t have the surgery yet? What if he does do the surgery but there are complications because of my lack of will power? Why did he want me to lose so much, part of the reason I am having this surgery is my inability to do this on my own? Needless to say I am cocky no more.
Anyway…just having a bit of a struggle this morning. Trying to put it in God’s hands and let it go. It’s hard…Pray for me please.
Love ya all…
Just Jil
Weightloss and Personal Redemption…
I am approaching the precipice of a whole new world…today is Tuesday, 11. March 2008 and in a mere 9 days the world and the way in which I view it will change forever.
My story begins on an ordinary Saturday afternoon on the 14th of May 1994. While on my way to pick up my younger brother Dave for church, I was involved in a car accident that would change the course of the direction of my life. Many things changed for me that day: some profound, some cliche and some unexpected. I am not going to go into too much detail about most of it because it is really neither here nor there anymore, wounds heal, scars fade and life goes on. However…one of the unexpected results of the accident and some of the injuries sustained was a significant weight gain. Now I am not going to claim that I was skinny before the accident, I definitely had some meat on my bones but I was also extremely active, I played and coached volleyball and many other sports. After the accident I was in physical therapy for a long time regaining strength and physical prowess. During this time I put on about 80 lbs. I had some internal problems and some intestinal issues that needed to be worked out that caused the weight gain. When I was cleared by my physician 6 months later to start working out I had gained so much weight that I was ashamed and embarrased of who I had become and what I looked like. Not having ever had that much self esteem to begin with, the weight gain proved to be a fatal blow to my self image. I spent the next 14 years dieting and gaining, dieting and gaining, dieting and gaining and finally just gaining. About two years ago, sad, desperate and emotionally defeated I gave up the fight and resigned myself to a life of obesity and shame, having ballooned from 175 lbs to 370 in the last 14 years.
Along the way I had starved myself, prayed, done Atkins, Nutri-System, TJ’s Miracle diet, WeightWatchers, Richard Simmons, and every other fad diet out there. I had eaten Low fat, low sugar, low sodium and they all made a difference in the beginning but gradually they gave way to greater weight gain. Everytime I took off 2o lbs I gained 30 lbs. back.
Then about 5 years ago I started thinking about weight loss surgery but I was never ready and to be honest, I felt like if I had the surgery I would be admitting defeat and at that time pride somehow meant more to me that a healthy active life…hindsight can be devastating.
Then in December I started praying in earnest to God and asking for a way out of this body I had created for myself; this prison in which I have been trapped for the last 14 years and in His mercy the Lord answered my prayers. From the moment that I gave it all up to Him and put in His hands, I have seen miracle after miracle go my way…boy when you actually allow God to keep the promises that He makes to you instead of trying to constantly take control back and do it yourself the results are far and away beyond your wildest dreams.
I will be having Gastric Bypass surgery on March 20th…just an extra little boost from God, I will be having my “rebirth” the same weekend as Easter. The time that celebrates the Resurrection of Christ, so that we might be cleansed and born anew to our Heavenly Father.
Along with all of these many exciting events are the facts that my family and friends are all wildly supportive of my decision. I am blessed to have two very dear friends of mine who have had the procedure done in October 2007 and Febraury 2008 along on this journey.
One of them, Laurie also started a blog here on WordPress called Gastric Girl. One of the reasons she decided to do it was to help keep herself accountable. I thought as I was reading her site, about how brave she was, having zero intention of following in her steps. However, I have thought about it a number of times over the past few days and with some trepidation I have decided that I would like to give it a go. So this is my first splash in this big ol’ pond.
I hope as I document my travels toward weightloss and personal redemption that my words have some value to someone, somewhere.
Wish me luck…Love ya all out there
Just Jil
